Many people have asked how they can help the Foley family through this very difficult time. While it may feel frustrating that you can't do more to help in the beginning, there will be many ways that you can help through the weeks, months, and years ahead. This page provides some ideas and suggestions.

Please let the Foley family know, and remind them often, that you would like them to call on you to help. You can also e-mail Amy's sister, Debbie Kenny with offers of help and ideas or suggestions of what you could do.

The Foleys will need the emotional support of their friends and family on an ongoing basis over the next couple of years. Long weeks in the hospital with Michael can be tiring, and a visit from a friend can help provide a distraction and break up the day. Michael's parents are starting to find that the better and more energetic Michael is feeling, the more difficult it can be to spend all day alone with him in a small room or house.

Please remember to check in with the Foleys often, not just during the initial crisis, but as time goes by.

Mark some random dates in your calendar now to remind yourself to visit or call and check in.

More information on calling, visiting, and contacting the family is available in the "Contacts and Visting" page of this web site.

Please send lots of cards and notes.

Michael cannot have flowers, live plants, or balloons. Other gifts are allowed, but Michael currently has plenty of toys, books, and videos.

Michael would enjoy home made videos -- especially from his young friends and cousins who cannot come visit. The videos he has received so far have given him many hours of enjoyment and distraction.

More information on where to send cards is available in the "Contacts and Visting" page of this web site.

There isn't much time for the Foleys to cook. Prepared dinners will be greatly appreciated. The best time to drop of food at the Foleys' is Mondays after 6:00.

The Foleys enjoy chicken, "meat and potatoes" dishes, and pasta. Small casseroles and single servings are best.

Please avoid

• onion and garlic in large quantities
• peppers, and
• very spicy food.

Although most of Michael's medical bills have been covered by insurance, the family has faced many extra expenses such as parking, tolls, meals out, telephone calls, and accommodations. They have also temporarily lost Amy's income, and eventually expect extra child care costs. The Michael Foley Fund has been established as a convenience for friends and family who would like to provide some financial assistance at this time.

Donations may be sent to:

Michael Foley Fund
c/o Middlesex Savings Bank
1208 Main St.
Concord, Mass., 01742

For information on the fund, please click here.

Over the weeks and months to come there may be many little jobs that can help tremendously. Examples include

• grocery shopping
• errands
• house cleaning
• child care, and
• laundry.

Please let the Foleys know how you can help. It might be helpful for friends and family to make occasional specific suggestions such as

• "Would you like me to pick up Brian some day next week?"
• "Can I get something for you at the store when I am there tomorrow?," or
• "How about if I come over on Saturday for a while to do a load of laundry?."

These types of suggestions may make it easier for the family since they don't have to "think of something" for you to do or "impose" on you by calling to ask.

Michael will be needing lots of blood transfusions. Supporters are encouraged to give blood at a local American Red Cross facility. Doing so will help ensure that the blood bank is well supplied when Michael and others need to draw from it. See the American Red Cross for more information.

Michael's immediate family members are not matches for a bone marrow transplant. If Michael should need a transplant later in his treatment, his doctors will need to turn to the National Marrow Donor Program in the hope of finding a match for Michael.

You can help by getting tested and registering as a possible bone marrow donor. Even if you are not a good match for Michael, you will increase the number of possible donors, and you may be able to save the life of another child or adult who needs a transplant. See the National Marrow Donor Program for more information.